This is how Shi Yan viewed the intimacy between him and He Nuo: he thought that he should be the closest person to He Nuo, and He Nuo was a very important person to him too, so it would be unreasonable for him to have the same kind of intimacy between him and his other buddies, but with He Nuo? It was both logical and reasonable. Although he felt like only he was the one who enjoyed it when he entered he Nuo, He Nuo would usually climax under his hands too, and he did admit that he liked it.
Moreover, when the woman in the videotape accepted a man from behind, she had also accepted another in front, yet she was climaxing like mad and moaning with so much pleasure — she looked like she felt so good she almost died from her sexual pleasure. So Shi Yan thought that He Nuo’s pain came from his inexperience, which was equivalent to the phenomenon of ‘deflowering a virgin woman’ that they discussed about in their dormitory. After they did it a few more times, he should be able to taste how good it truly is and desire for more. In any case, the half-assed “Sex Bible” he learned in college only had this level of comprehension when it came to matters regarding sex.
So in Shi Yan’s heart, intimacy with He Nuo benefits both sides. At the same time, He Nuo’s ‘because you want to do that?’ was like a slap in Shi Yan’s face — with just this one sentence, he basically ignored Shi Yan’s concern for him and how much he missed He Nuo, since he thinks that Shi Yan wants him to get into a college in the same city just so they could do those obscene things. Out of spite, Shi Yan wanted to show him and to prove to him what it was that he really wanted.
Shi Yan propped himself by the edge of the bed with both hands. He Nuo faced him squarely and accepted all of the anger, disappointment and ridicule in his eyes.
The moment Shi Yan talked about how he couldn’t seen him no matter how often he thought of him, He Nuo knew straight away that Shi Yan didn’t want him to stay by his side just because of that reason. After Shi Yan uttered his last sentence ‘I won’t touch even one of your fingers’ that was filled with ridicule, He Nuo felt both ashamed and upset. When they were filling in their aspirations form for college last year, stuff like that hadn’t happened between them yet, and even then Shi Yan still wanted them to choose colleges that were in the same city. Yet this time, he actually misunderstood him in such a way with his vile heart.
His younger brothers called them to go eat from the outside; most of the dishes were already on the table. Papa He and fifth bro greeted them and asked them to sit. Ever since fourth bro got his transfer, many people started introducing him to prospective marriage partners so he already has a girlfriend now, which was why he wasn’t home. After He Nuo sat on the stool, its cool surface made him spring back up, then he furrowed his eyebrows and sat back down again. The swelling down there wasn’t too serious, but pressing down on it like this was still more painful than lying down.
Shi Yan cast a glance at him then asked his younger brother, “Do you have a cushion?”
His younger brother thought that Shi Yan didn’t like how cold the stool was, so he got him a cushion. Shi Yan passed it to He Nuo, “You have a fever, so it’s cold when you’re sitting ba.”
He Nuo thanked him when he accepted the cushion and smiled at him, but Shi Yan didn’t respond. Instead, he turned around to talk to Papa He and fifth bro. The table was still filled with home-cooked dishes, but there was a little more today, and there were even extra dishes of braised meat and fish as well. Shi Yan very naturally chatted with everyone else and talked about college life with fifth bro. Frankly speaking, Shi Yan seemed more like he was a part of this family, while He Nuo seemed more like the visitor. While Shi Yan was engaging in an animated conversation with the others, he was also paying attention to He Nuo. He realised that he would only pick dishes that were near him to eat and had never even touched the meat dishes.
Shi Yan felt his heart sour and ache. He picked up a lean piece of braised meat and placed it in He Nuo’s bowl. He remembered that He Nuo mentioned before that he didn’t like greasy food, or else he would have picked the fatty part of the meat for him. After their meal, He Nuo was going to clean up the kitchen as usual when his mother told him to go back to his room because he has a fever, and asked them not to care about this place.
After they returned to the room, Shi Yan flicked the thermometer a few times and asked He Nuo to check his temperature. He Nuo looked at the thermometer he handed over but didn’t accept it. Shi Yan waited for awhile, then smiled as he bent over, “You want me to do it?”
He Nuo didn’t say anything, and Shi Yan’s grin grew wider. He sat next to He Nuo, “I’ll do it now?”
He Nuo craned his neck and looked into his eyes, “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t touch even one of my fingers?”
“You wish! I won’t touch ‘one’ of your fingers, I’ll touch all ten of them.” He pulled He Nuo, “Come over here! Raise your hand.”
He Nuo raised one of his hands, and the thermometer was placed under his armpit. When he looked up again, both of them couldn’t keep a straight face any longer. Their eyes met and the two began to laugh heartily. After they had their fill of laughing, Shi Yan said, “Isn’t it good to be in the same city as me? It’ll be convenient for us to meet, and you can stay in our dorm on the weekends. I’ll hug you as we listen to their jokes, they’re really interesting.”
“Then you won’t need to accompany your girlfriend in the future?” He Nuo still had to ask this question eventually.
“Girlfriend? With a young master like you around, how would I have the time to find a girlfriend? I barely have enough time to wait on you.”
That was when He Nuo knew that he could only fill in the name of one college on his application form this year.
In the afternoon, He Nuo worked on some problems as he studied. Shi Yan took an afternoon nap before he left and told He Nuo to sleep early that night.
On Monday, although He Nuo still had a slight fever, he didn’t think too much of it and went to school. When he returned to his classroom after the flag-raising ceremony, he saw an extra cotton cushion on his seat. He had just thought that it was strange when his classmate on duty told him that Shi Yan had come over beforehand. He Nuo sat on the soft and warm cushion with a blissful face. When he picked up his textbook for first period, he knocked into a barrel-like thing — it was a thermos cup. He opened it and the fragrance of hot milk wafted out of the cup.
Spring Festival was approaching, so his younger brothers had gone back to their grandmother’s place again. He Nuo unintentionally mentioned this to Shi Yan during one afternoon when he came to pick him up after school, so when Shi Yan sent him back at night, he asked He Nuo what time he would be sleeping. He Nuo usually slept around 11pm. Shi Yan told He Nuo to wait at his door around 11pm cause he had something he wanted to give him. He Nuo wasn’t going to fall for his mysterious act, so he intended to rest after he washed up at 11pm. However, he couldn’t endure his curiosity in the end and put on some clothes to go open his yard’s door, yet there was nothing at the door. He was about to close the door when he heard someone laughing at the corner of the wall, “I thought I would be denied entrance.” Shi Yan walked out.
After they entered the room, Shi Yan quickly took his clothes off and slid under the blanket. He Nuo’s eyes almost turned straight from rolling it too hard.
“Aren’t you going to get in? What are you waiting for?”
“Duh, hurry and come in.” Shi Yan lifted a corner of the blanket.
After He Nuo uttered an o, he turned the lights off and took his clothes off before getting on his bed. He had just got on when he was hugged against a warm chest. Shi Yan buried his head into He Nuo’s shoulders and rubbed his nose against it forcefully and sniffed him everywhere.
“Are you born in the year of the dog? What are you sniffing?”
“Trying to tell if you stink or not.”
“You’re the one who stinks, I just took a bath.”
“Not stinky, fragrant, hehe. I smell good too, I bathed before I came over. If you don’t believe it you can sniff me too.”
“But I want to sniff you. What did you wash just now? Let me check to see if you’ve washed it thoroughly.” His hands seemed to have their own consciousness as they caught it in one go.
“Don’t mess around, I have to go to school tomorrow.”
“I know, I’m just touching it.” Shi Yan’s hand slipped into He Nuo’s pants, “Sleep. When you wake up call me, I need to sneak back home before my parents wake up.”
Shi Yan held He Nuo’s lifeblood and became restless again. It couldn’t help but grow bigger the more he rubbed it, “How am I supposed to sleep like this?”
Shi Yan used his own that was already upright to bump into He Nuo, “Touch mine to sleep.”
He Nuo closed his eyes and ignored him. Shi Yan took off his underwear and placed He Nuo’s hand on it, “Touch it ma, it misses you already.”
He couldn’t help but succumb to Shi Yan’s sweet nothings. He Nuo agreed to his suggestion of course, but in the end he was naked as well as they rubbed their guns together. He Nuo fired first because Shi Yan’s technique was a notch better. Shi Yan smeared the serum that He Nuo had shot into his hand onto his own gun and He Nuo’s secret place. The best part of the night then began, and after this part was over, it was already 1am. He Nuo was both sleepy and exhausted when he fell asleep, so Shi Yan handled all the clean up by himself. There were still some light bloodstains, and he could see that it was slightly turned out and swollen; his heart ached dearly as he knew that it would be uncomfortable for him to sit down tomorrow.
It’s not that Shi Yan didn’t want to be considerate of He Nuo or that his heart didn’t ache for him, but all he wanted to do in the middle of the night was to hug him to sleep. Before he went over, he often told himself that all he could do was hug him to sleep, and that he wasn’t allowed to do anything else. But the moment his beloved was in his arms, all these reminders vanished without a trace. Whenever he saw He Nuo sleep in his arms thoroughly exhausted, all he felt was regret and self-reproach. However, the situation has improved: during the two times when they did it recently, blood no longer appeared in the semen that flowed out, so Shi Yan finally felt slightly comforted. Fortunately, since his younger brothers weren’t home during the holidays and his fifth bro liked to sleep in, He Nuo’s family tend to wake up quite late, so Shi Yan had never been caught by his family. But he did scare his own parents who had seen him return in the morning. However, Shi Yan had already prepared his excuse: he got up early to go out and exercise.